Kilgrave
by Midnightletter13
Summary: Ever wonder what was Kilgrave thinking during his confrontation with Jessica Jones? The entire first season told from Kilgrave's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Jump." I order.

The girl, Hope Shlottman, jumps in place, displaying a pitiful little hop.

"Come now, you can do better than that. Isn't the long jump your specialty?" I scold her. "Jump higher." 

Hope crouches low with her arms straight out in front of her, and her knees up to her chest. She pushes up with her feet, swinging her arms down, and lands a few centimeters from were she started.

"Much better," I clap my hands, "but still not as good as Jessica."

Jessica once jumped so high I thought she would fly away. There's no way this girl could ever compete with Jessica in that regard, no matter how athletic she is she's still just an ordinary girl. Yes, no matter how fit, or beautiful or wealthy her parents are compared to Jessica Hope is painfully plain and boring. Not really Hope's fault though, everyone is a bore when compared to Jessica.

Ever since I gained these powers I have never been denied anything. I got whatever I wanted, when I wanted it. It's a wonderful feeling, to say something and have it happen, but there are drawbacks. For one thing there is no challenge. For example if I told someone to jump off a bridge (which I have done a few times) they would do it without hesitation. All I have to do is be near them and speak, and they're mine to do with as I please. I was content with things being this way, that is until Jessica left me.

Jessica was the first person to challenge me. She resisted my powers and left me. I still don't know how she did it, but she did and since then nothing has been the same. I'm so woefully aware of how easy my life is, how dull everything is around me. Jessica was the only interesting person I had come across in years, and now she was gone. By all rights I should be furious at her, I was for a time, but more than anything I miss her. If I could just have her back at my side everything would be better.

I make Hope keep jumping for hours and hours, but she never does as good as Jessica.

A few days later I take Hope shopping. I buy lingerie for her, and a tie and cufflinks for myself. The next day I take her to Il Rosso, but to my disappointment it has closed down and an Asian restaurant called Niku is in its place. I almost don't go in, but I have to make everything be just as it was when we celebrated our anniversary, so I sigh and go inside Niku.

Once in I get the same table Jessica and I sat at, I order a nice bottle of champagne and have the chef make us pasta amatriciana. I eat my meal in silence, thinking about the night I spent with Jessica here. I can't understand why she left me the way she did. After everything I did for her she abandoned me when I needed her most. I want to forgive her, but she has to feel my pain first. Then we can move on.

A few nights later I'm getting dressed. Hope is lying in bed, just like I told her to. After I have my clothes on I sit on the edge of the bed and look Hope in the eyes.

"I want you to stay here, no matter what, don't leave this spot. However, if you are ever alone with your parents again I want you to shoot them. I placed a gun in your bag. Use that and empty every bullet into them."

I stand up, give Hope a wave good-bye, and walk out the room. As I'm walking down the hall I can't help, but picture Jessica's face when she finds Hope. How happy she'll be when thinks she rescued the young girl, only to have that happiness ripped from her when Hope kills her parents. I'd give anything to see the look on her face, but good things come to those who wait.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I spent my childhood as a lab rat. My parents were doctors, and they performed terrible and painful experiments on me. Funnily enough these experiments are what gave me my powers, so in a way I'm grateful, even though just thinking about them makes my jaw clench.

The only proof the experiments took place are videos my parents recorded of the numerous sessions. I never stopped thinking about those videos. If anyone found them they could use them to prove the existence of my powers. The only reason I've been able to act freely like I have is because no one believes in mind control. If someone were to get their hands on those videos not only could they prove the existence of my powers, but if they dig deep enough they could find me. I haven't been using an alias all these years for the fun of it. In case anyone where to locate those videos it would take a lot of sleuthing to connect Kevin Thompson to Kilgrave. Difficult task, but not impossible.

In my down time I started searching for the tapes. After compelling a lot of people, I eventually found a lead: Reva Connors. The night Jessica left me was the night we found Reva. Reva admitted to having the only copy of the videos saved on a hard drive. Another pro to having my powers is that no one ever lies to me. Reva had hidden the hard drive in an abandon construction site. The hard drive had been buried then covered with concrete. Thankfully, I had Jessica by my side. She tore through the concrete with just an ax and her strength. After breaking through the surface Jessica dug through the ground and found a small leather box. I opened the box saw, inside was a yellow hard drive, I closed it and put it in my coat pocket.

The three of us walked outside. It was dark and so the streets were vacant, which was perfect. I didn't want any witnesses for what was about to happen.

"Take care of her." I ordered Jessica.

Without hesitating Jessica curled a hand into a fist and punched Reva square in her chest. The sound of her ribs breaking sounded like crushed ice. She flew off the ground and landed hard in the street, her head hitting the concrete. Jessica walked over and crouched next to Reva, touching her body. She must have been checking to make sure she was dead, but I already knew.

"Come on, Jessica." I said.

Jessica stayed in place next to Reva. Her hand was covered in blood and shaking.

"Come back here Jessica!" I ordered.

There had been moments in my relationship with Jessica were it took a little long for her to listen to a command. Were others would jumped at my commands Jessica often hesitated, making me give my orders a second time to make her obey. It was always a cause of irritation for me, and one of the things I didn't miss from our relationship.

Jessica stood up, but instead of walking back to me like I had ordered, she walked away from me. My irritation turned to fury. I couldn't believe she was defying me. She had offered resistance in the past, but never flat out defiance. I ran into the street after her.

"Come back here Jessica!" I yelled.

Jessica turned, her legs shaking, and looked back at me. Her eyes looked blurry like she was about to cry. She turned away from me and starting running. I started to run after her, but the sound of a horn blared in my ear. I turned around and coming right at me was a damn bus. The driver tried to swerve out of the way, but that only made the bus flip on its side. The bus skidded at me, and I moved out of the way to avoid getting hit full on, but I still collided with the edge of the vehicle and I was sent flying.

As I lay on the ground, my mouth tasting like copper, I tried calling out to Jessica for help. Sadly, Jessica never came to rescue me. She had left me to die.

I woke up in the back of an ambulance, strapped down to a stretcher. I felt like all nine circles of Hell. I pulled my arm free and pulled off the oxygen mask covering my mouth.

"Pull over!" I rasped.

The driver obeyed, parking the car at a corner.

"Unstrap me!"

After I was free I tried sitting up, but a terrible wave shot through my back and I went down.

"Where's Jessica?" I gasped.

"Who?" The EMT asked.

"Jessica Jones!" I yelled. "Where is she?"

A terrible thought reared my head. What if the reason Jessica didn't come help me was because she was hit by the bus. Jessica had amazing strength, but wasn't made of steel. What if she was in another ambulance, her body more broken than mine? Or what if she was dead? What would I do if she was dead? I didn't know.

I described what Jessica looked like, and the EMT didn't see anyone matching the description at the scene. Just Reva, the driver, and me. Jessica had fled. Fear was replaced by anger. Deep seething anger.

"What's you're name?" I asked.

"Jack Denton."

"Well Jack tell me, what's wrong with me."

"One of your kidneys are destroyed, the other is shutting down. You'll need a transplant or dialysis soon or you'll die."

I snorted. "Know any good transplant doctors?"

I was lying on a large surgical mat in Denton's apartment when he finally came back with Doctor Kurata. David Kurata was the best transplant surgeon in the area so I was confident he would be able to help me. If not he would suffer a big loss.

The doctor was holding a medical bag and looked very baffled and scared. I think that had to do with the gun Denton had pointed at his back.

"What is this?" He gasped looking at me.

"I'm your patient. I need a kidney transplant, and I need you to perform the surgery."

"I'll need a matching donor."

"Will someone who isn't a match help?" I asked, annoyed. I really didn't want to go through the process of finding someone with my blood type, but I would if I had to.

"Yes, but only temporarily in a few years you'll need another donor."

"Well, we'll just cross that bridge when we get to it. In the meantime I need two kidneys put in me." 

"You can survive with one." Kurata said.

"I want two, I want to be made whole again." 

"Where are the donated kidneys." The doctor asked, looking around like I had them on the floor.

"You can take them from this gentleman." I nodded at Denton. "Jack put the gun down and come lie next to me."

He did so, and Kurata looked like he was about to faint.

"Open your medical bag and get started." I said.

"I'll need to put you under-"

"No!" I ordered. "No anesthesia. What else do you have to numb the pain?"

"An epidural will numb you up, but with a procedure like this you'll still feel a lot of pain."

"I'm no stranger to pain." I said.

I learned a long time ago, that any form of anesthesia shuts off my powers and leaves me without them for a while after. I couldn't risk that, especially in the predicament I was in, so I stayed awake through every hour of the surgery. During the surgery when I felt myself slipping, I would think of Jessica leaving me to die and I would stay awake. The only thing that kept me going was my anger towards her. My anger would always keep me going.

I knocked on the door and a man answered.

"Yes?" He asked.

"You would like to invite me in." I said simply.

"Absolutely." The man responds and steps to the side to allow me access into his home.

I stroll into the apartment, and notice the view of the city from the window. Nice. Then I notice the garish art on the walls. Not as nice, but I can always take them down.

A woman, I assume the man's wife, looks up at me in confusion.

"Honey, who's this?" She asked her husband.

"I'm gonna be your guest here, indefinitely." I answered for her. "You'll be delight."

"Enjoy the view!" She said politely.

"I intend to."

I walked towards the large window, pass the couple's two children, a boy and a girl. I step on the boy's car on my way to the window and stare out at the beautiful city. I wished I could see Jessica's apartment from where I was. I wanted to take the building right across from hers, so I could just look out the window and see her everyday, but that would be too risky being that close. I had to settle for the pictures.

"That was my car!" The little boy wails, interrupting my thoughts.

"Children should be seen and not heard. Or better still, not seen and not heard. Get into that closet."

The boy obeyed, walking towards the closet. The girl doesn't follow her brother and I look at her and see why. Headphones. If others can't hear my commands they can't obey me. But she only had one ear plugged, so I raised my voice and told her to get into the closet as well.

"I have to use the bathroom!" She said.

"Just go in the closet, it'll be fine."

Once they're both in I closed the door and locked it. The mother started to protest, but I told her it was fine and she calmed down. I took a seat at the kitchen table, moving some magazines out of my way with a wave of my hand. As the husband prepared the meal I started cleaning my knife. Maybe if the food was good, and the night went well I'd let this family go. Or kill them all. I was the one with the power so I could do whatever I wanted.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

I soon found a new home. I grew bored with the old one. That's my problem really, I get bored of things too easily. Once I had a man give me his race car, but after driving it for a few days I left it in a parking lot with the windows down and the doors unlocked. I would find women who at the time I thought were utterly beautiful and I pictured myself being with them for a long time, but after a night or two I would leave them alone and penniless.

Jessica was the only person who I didn't grow tired of after a couple of days. I asked myself why I still loved her, and why I allowed her to live after hurting me so?

There were so many reasons.

Jessica was different from any person I had ever met, yet she was the only person who I felt similar to. Her being able to resist me is another reason. The resistance hadn't been there initially, she had wilted and obeyed easily like the rest. Yet as time passed controlling her had become difficult. I actually had to exert effort a few times with her. It may sound odd but there was something thrilling about finally meeting someone who wasn't easy to control. Jessica presented me a challenge, an actual challenge! It was infuriating and exciting and down right erotic all at once!

There was this one instance during our time together when I asked her to smile for me. I had asked her to do this for me a lot, but for some reason this one time Jessica hesitated and actually bit her lip to keep herself from smiling. Even though it was only a few seconds of hesitation and she ended up smiling anyway I couldn't ignore how she had fought me for just those little seconds. I didn't know whether to hit her or kiss her or both.

There lies another reason why I love Jessica Jones. She is the only person who has ever made me feel so conflicted. If my emotions went into a whirl without a doubt she was always the cause.

I wonder if Jessica knows how much she affects me? Does she care? Do I affect her the same? Does she even think about me, or is she with someone else? That last question weighs heavily on my mind.

As I stare at the photos of her I have collected I like to image that she's thinking of me, just as much as I think of her.

Jessica has a sister named Trish. Now her and Trish aren't biological sisters, the only biological sibling Jessica had was her little brother and he died along with her parents in a car accident. Trish's mother adopted Jessica after the incident, but only did so to get good publicity for Trish who was a child star at the time. Unlike most child stars Trish hasn't fallen into irrelevancy and drug addiction, instead she's the host of a very popular radio show.

When me and Jessica were first starting out I would listen to the show with her, just to get an idea of what kind of person Trish Walker was. Jessica once said that she saw Trish like a sister and that she was proud of her for all her hard-work. I listened to a few episodes, but I never could see what Jessica saw in Trish. To me she seemed like any typical blond airhead who thought she was so smart and that she could change the world just by chattering on. Also her television show was utterly dry and boring. I found nothing about her worth being proud about.

After Jessica left I would listen to Trish's show in the hopes that just maybe, Jessica would be on it and I would be able to hear her voice or at the very least hear her name mentioned, but neither happened. Eventually I found where Jessica lived and it was easy enough to have someone photograph her without her knowing. Jessica was never pictured with Trish, I figured the two had a falling out, or Jessica was keeping her sister at arms length.

After the news of what Hope did to her parents I decided to listen to Trish's show knowing for certain that she would be discussing it. It was a hot story after all, an all American girl loses it and shoots her parents dead, oh news outlets were all over it and I knew that Trish would be too.

I was surprised when I realize that Trish was holding an interview with Hope, allowing her to tell her side of the story. I hadn't counted on the fact that Hope would tell about me. Even though we live in a city that had been attacked by aliens and had been rescued by a group of heroes that consisted of a giant green man the idea of someone who had the powers of mind control was still far-fetched, but that didn't keep Hope from speaking it.

After Hope finished telling her story her attorney interrupted the interview with the opinion that Hope was delusional, which Trish adamantly argued against.

"Perhaps what happened to Hope has happened before." Trish said.

I blinked and I knew then that Jessica had gotten back in contact with her former friend/sibling. That was why Trish felt so strongly about this, in her mind she was sticking up for Jessica. What a good little sister she was.

"Trish sounds like you believe this Kilgrave is real." Hope's attorney challenged.

There was a long pause before Trish responded. "I believe it's naïve to assume he isn't. So yes I think he's out there. This sick perverted man. Preying on the hopeless, so he can feel powerful."

She went on to say other things; that I suffered from impotence and that I may have had incestuous thoughts about my mother. Regardless she had already said more than enough. I picked up my phone and dialed the number to her radio station.

After being patched in I said. "First time caller long time listener. Trish I want to applaud your courage, being a hero to the downtrodden. Self-preservation be damn. It's honorable, but my question is if there really is a man with the abilities you describe, someone who can make anyone any where do whatever he wanted them to do seems to me insulting him would be wildly dangerous, or let's just say it, stupid in the extreme. Everyone has feelings, even, how did you put it? Sadistic men. Are you worried he might make you kill herself or worse? I'll take my answer off the air."

I hung up and smiled. It was risky putting myself out like that, but now Ms. Walker was no doubt experiencing a paranoid fear that anyone she walked by on the street was ordered to attack her by me. The thought of her walking through a crowd and looking at every face with fear, sweat rolling down her forehead, brought me unbelievable satisfaction. It would be so easy to walk to any stranger and order them to kill her in anyway they could. An idea rose in my head, what if Trish was going to have Jessica look after her. I mean if I was the target of some mysterious man with telepathic powers I would call my friend who had super strength to protect me.

Jessica would be with her, so I had to be smart about this. Hopefully if done right by the day's end Trish Walker would be dead, and Jessica would see it herself. Trish was all Jessica had, her only friend and family. With her gone Jessica would be alone, even more reason to come back to me. I didn't think killing Trish would ruin my chances of being back with Jessica. Jessica leaving me to die didn't end us and neither would me having Trish killed. Even after hurting each other so deeply we will forgive each other and move on, because we're inevitable. Nobody else challenges me the way she does, and no one else can compete with her like I do. We are simply meant to be. Jessica will realize that, and one day I'll open the door and she'll be standing on my doorstep with a smile.

I walked into the coffee shop, and there I saw a cop standing at the counter. Sometimes the best things just fall into your lap.

I was watching a football game (I don't know why Americans insist on calling it the sport 'soccer' but oh, well) in my new home. Sports are one of the few things I get passionate about, so I was only have paying attention when the cop walked in to tell me he had completed his task.

"Trish Walker is dead." He said.

"Is Jessica aware of Patsy's death?" I asked.

"She saw everything."

"Was she upset?"

"Very."

"Well a lot of people will be, Patsy was such an icon." I snort. "Personally I always thought that her television show was shit. Patsy was a grating, teenage do-gooder, and was so sanctimonious. Why Jessica was so attached to her I'll never understand."

I was going to say more about my ill feelings of Trish Walker, but I was distracted by a bad play. "Don't just kick it all the time you ginger twat!" I shouted at the television.

I looked at the officer. "You're done here. Leave."

The cop turned on his heel and began walking towards the door.

"Not that way officer." I said, then pointed towards the glass doors leading to the balcony. "That way."

As the officer opened the door leading to the balcony I yelled at the TV some more. My team was really playing terribly this time around. As I watched the game I heard a loud thump from something heavy landing on the balcony. I turned my attention from the TV and looked out the glass doors and saw Jessica pulling the officer from the edge.

The officer fell hard on his back, but was safe. Jessica looked down at him, then looked up and we locked eyes. It felt like we stood there staring for an eternity. So many things I wanted to say to her, so many things I wanted to ask her. Was she here to kill me out of some moral obligation to Trish? Or was she here to finally apologize for leaving me? I couldn't risk getting too close to her if it was the latter, Jessica could rip me in half like paper.

We both stood there, daring the other to move, but then the officer stood up and went for the edge again. I jerked my head and Jessica noticed just in time to try to save him from jumping. Jessica always had a hero complex that I never understood, but it worked in my favor this time. While she was playing hero I made my escape, running out of the room.

The couple that owned the house had a teenage son, and I ran by him while running down the stairs.

"Listen, there's a woman who will be coming this way, do anything you can to keep her from following me!"

"Yes." The boy said.

I ran past him and after running into his mother and father and giving them the same order I fled the house. I stopped momentarily to look wistfully at the room where I kept all of Jessica's pictures. I actually felt sad leaving them behind. I sighed, and kept running. I still had Malcolm, and he would bring me more photos of my darling Jessica in return for money. The young man had a really awful drug habit, that was just ripe for exploiting.

I was soon on the street, walking among the crowd. My heart was racing. I had been ten feet from her, that's the closest I had been to her in a very long time. I wondered if she had seen the room, and if so then right at that moment she knew I had been watching her. I imaged Jessica looking over her shoulder trying to catch my spy, or me in the act of photographing her. I stopped walking and began laughing.

Strangers walked by staring at me like I was insane and maybe I was a little, but that's the affect Jessica had on me. This was way I needed her back in my life, no one else gave me such a rush of excitement the way she did. With Jessica there was never a dull moment.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The next day when Trish Walker's death didn't make the news I knew something had gone wrong. A popular show host found brutalized in their home would definitely be news worthy, so why hadn't there been some report of it? The answer was Jessica. Jessica Jones had interfered somehow and saved her darling sister. They hadn't been on bad terms after all.

I listened to Patsy's radio show and was surprised to hear her apologizing to me. She admitted how out of line and ignorant she had been to challenge me. She even called me fascinating! I smiled, then slowly grimaced as my anger grew. Not at Patsy, but at Jessica. You would think I was upset about her stepping in to ruin my fun, but that wasn't it.

Jealousy was the cause of my anger.

Jessica had run to save a woman who wasn't really even her family, but when I truly needed her she left me for dead. Jessica could have stopped that bus easily, but she didn't. She let me get hit, then ran off.

After all I did for her!

I took her to the best hotels and restaurants in the city, gave her everything she wanted, and in the end she left me without even a good-bye.

Jessica acted like Trish Walker meant more to her than I did. Even though I knew it wasn't true, I couldn't help but feel slighted. I didn't want an apology from Patsy, I wanted one from Jessica. I wanted her to come to me with tears of regret in her eyes. I wanted her to get down on her knees and beg me for forgiveness. I wanted her to kiss me, touch me, and assure me that she would never leave again. I would be so happy I would just hold her, and not strike her across the face like she deserved.

I would hold her tight and never let go.

While observing Jessica I noticed that she had taken on a new client. A rich woman, named Audrey. Audrey wanted Jessica to take pictures of her husband being unfaithful so it would be easier to divorce him. Jessica took the case, and was told what day she would be able to catch the husband in the act.

Later on Jessica ended up following Audrey into an abandon building that was filled with mannequins. Once in the building Audrey had taken out a gun and began shooting at the mannequins. Target practice is what it looked like and Jessica figured that too, I bet. Out of curiosity I sent a couple spies to follow the scorned woman. I was bored and I figured some marital drama would be interesting like in the movies.

However, I received quite a shock when my spies returned and told me Audrey's true intentions. The spies had followed Audrey home where she told her husband about the trap she set for a super-powered "freak" who worked as a detective. Audrey planned on shooting Jessica to death then dismembering her body.

The husband was afraid and tried talking her out of it, but Audrey bullied him into it until he complied. Either that man never had a backbone (probably why she married him) or he had a vertebra at some point, but it was worn down from years of being married to the rich shrew.

I was walking towards Jessica's apartment, intent on warning her about the threat her client posed. However, the closer I got, the more I began disliking the idea of me swooping to her rescue. Jessica hadn't rushed to save me, so why should I save her? Also the thing I desired most about Jessica was how she was able to challenge me. She was the only person who could equal me, and this was why I needed her in my life. If she couldn't save herself from a normal woman with a gun, then she was not my equal at all. I didn't need damsels in my life.

Although it pained me to visualize Jessica with a hole in her head, it would pain me more to attach my self to a weakling. I did want to at least give Jessica a little hint as to the danger she was in. I would leave it purposely vague so Jessica would at least be on guard. From there her survival was all up to her.

I saw a little girl walking by on the street, her mother a few feet ahead of her. Moving quickly I leaned down and pulled the girl to me.

"Don't be afraid." I said before the little girl could scream. "I want you to give someone a message for me."

I sat down that night staring at a picture of Jessica. If Audrey was successful I would never see Jessica alive again. I would only have the pictures of her for comfort. The junkie who lived in Jessica's apartment had done a great job. He had been spying on Jessica and snapping photos of her without her realizing it for months.

The only limits on my powers are distance and time. I could give someone an order but after twelve hours they were free from my hold. I needed someone who would spy on Jessica around the clock without me having to re-establish my hold on them. I went through a lot of trouble to get the junkie strung out enough so I didn't need to use my powers to make him do whatever I wanted. Honestly the pathetic creature had it so bad all you needed to do was wave a dollar in his face, and he'd do whatever you wanted.

With Jessica gone I would have no use for him. I would probably make him walk into traffic or overdoes on purpose. I would decide by ten the next morning what my next step would be.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

I've never had to work a day in my life. Why would I? The way I see it normal people have jobs only because they need money. Even the ones who say they love their jobs wouldn't do them for free. When you have the power to get whatever you want from anyone you want, money comes easy.

I was scared when my parents abandoned me. I had woken up one morning and they were gone. Their clothes and other belongings were still there, but they had vanished. I stayed in our house alone for days, waiting and hoping for them to return. When the food ran low and they hadn't returned I went outside and used my powers to make strangers give me their money. I eventually had the idea to make couples take care of me like I was their own child. I did this, bouncing from one set of "parents" to the next until I was in my early twenties. From then on instead of having "parents" I just made myself a guest in whatever home I liked.

Clothes, food, shelter, entertainment, with my power I could provide all these things for myself so having a job wasn't necessary. When we were together I once asked Jessica what she did for a living and she told me how she was selling coupons on the street dressed like a sandwich before we met. I laughed at the embarrassing image of such a thing. I could understand a normal person doing something as stupid as that, but Jessica with all that power at her disposal was too good for that sort of thing.

Jessica is beautiful and strong but she lacks vision and imagination. Before we met Jessica didn't know how to use her powers properly. Hell, even now she doesn't know. I tried to teach her, to show her how she could use her powers for her own benefit, but she ran away just when things were getting good.

I sat in a park, drinking coffee, staring at people playing chess and going about their day. I checked my watch, it read 9:55 a.m. The Junkie would be arriving soon. I didn't even have to look around to know he was on his way. Even without my power I had The Junkie on a short lease and he always did what he was told. Right on time The Junkie sat down across from me and silently handed over a large envelope. Without even looking at him I took the envelope and opened it. Inside were photos of Jessica. She had survived the encounter with her client after all.

Good.

I placed an envelope filled with money on the table and The Junkie snatched it and scurried away. To be honest I despised The Junkie. Not only for his poor lack of hygiene, but for how he allowed himself to be so easily controlled by something as superficial as drugs. Allowing something or someone else to have power over you makes you weak. That's probably why I can't stand being around the people I control. Deep down they disgust me, because of how weak they are. Being around them just reminds me of how much I miss Jessica.

The next day I'm standing at a magazine stand with The Junkie. I'm flipping through magazines while some old man is yelling behind me. I ignore him. It's New York City, everybody is always yelling for some reason or another. I feel someone tugging my sleeve and I look down and see the man yelling at me.

"This isn't a library!"

I stare at the man. I could walk away, not wasting a second on this insignificant ant. However, rude behavior is something I will not tolerate so I react.

"Pick up that coffee."

The man picks up the Styrofoam cup.

"Throw it in your face."

He does it and he lets out an ugly scream while clasping his hands over his face. I notice the bellowing wisps of steam coming from between his fingers and, satisfied I walk away with The Junkie. I'm eager to see what new photos he has of my darling Jessica.

As I look through the photographs of Jessica a memory resurfaces from deep in my mind. It's from the early months of Jessica and I's relationship. We had just got done eating dinner and I told her to wash the dishes. I was in the living room, watching sports on TV, when I heard something break.

"Jessica?" I called.

Silence.

"Jessica!

I ran into the kitchen and saw Jessica standing still as a statue, her hands bloody, plate fragments lying at her feet.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I broke the plate." She said in a whisper, like she was talking to herself. Like I wasn't in the same room with her.

"Why the hell would you do that?" I demanded.

"I…don't know…" Jessica whispered.

"You can't control your power to even wash a dish?" I asked. "What's next, tearing a door off its hinges? Honestly Jessica I expected better from you than this. This is pathetic!"

Jessica put her head down and I bit my lip. This would become common in our relationship. She would do something stupid to make me upset, then make me feel guilty about being upset. It wasn't fair and was total emotional manipulation, but I let her get away with it because I loved her. Also, I loved how she could make me feel so many different feelings at once. I had felt nothing but boredom for so long that it felt amazing just to feel genuine emotion, even if that emotion was aggravation.

"Come here Jessica." I said gently.

She walked towards me her head still down.

"Look at me."

She did. I moved a few stray strands of hair from her face and kissed her gently.

"I'm sorry, I lost my temper. I know it's hard for you, trying to control all that power. I forgot that you aren't as skilled as me."

I took her hands in mine and caressed them gently.

"I can't believe that plate harmed you." I said.

"I'm not indestructible." Jessica said, her voice sounding normal again. "I can get hurt like anyone else."

"That's why it doesn't make sense, you aren't like everyone else. That's why I…" I paused.

I hadn't been able to say, "I love you" back then. At the time, I didn't know how to put my feelings into words. Maybe that's why Jessica left, maybe she thought I didn't love her. Even though my love was clear in the gifts I gave her and how I touched her maybe that wasn't enough for her to understand. I blame Jessica for being daft not to notice, but I also blame myself because I should have said how I felt out loud at least once.

As I flip through the photos I make a vow to tell Jessica just how much I love her the moment we are alone together. I'll take her in my arms and tell her just how much she means to me and she'll apologize for leaving and we'll be happy again. An idea occurred to me then. I had to make the moment special, with a gift of some kind. What gift would be good enough for a moment like this though?

I spent the rest of the day thinking about it and by the time I went to bed I knew exactly what to get Jessica to show her how serious I was about us having a future together.

I meet The Junkie again the next day. As usual he hands over pictures of Jessica. I wish The Junkie could have gotten photos of Jessica unclothed. If only there was a way to get The Junkie closer without exposing my pull over him.

In the middle of this thought I notice a man walking slowly towards me. He looks familiar but I can't place him. As he gets closer I move in my seat to get a better look at him. I know I've seen his face before, but I can't remember where.

"Hey shit-head!" Someone yells.

I turn my head towards the voice and I see a woman in a gray hoodie standing a few meters from me waving her arms over her head. She's pale with long dark hair…

 _Jessica?_

Only a few steps away from me was Jessica Jones.

My Jessie was only a few steps away.

I want to run, but can't decide if I want to run at her or away. The decision ia taken from me when I felt a pinch at my neck. The Earth tilts on its axis and I fall to my knees. I try to fight the effects of whatever drug is coursing through my body, but my limbs go numb and my vision darkens. I'm not going to stay awake much longer.

Good thing I had thought ahead and hired those bodyguards.

 _Nice try Jessica_ , is the last thing I think before I pass out.

I was dreaming and in the dream I was walking down a street, a beautiful woman on each arm, the night sky beautiful above us.

"Alright ladies where shall we have dinner tonight? Are we in the mood for Italian or Chinese?"

Suddenly I hear people yelling and grunting. I looked down the street to see three people fighting. I stood and watched because who doesn't like a good street fight? As the fight went on I noticed that there were two men and one woman involved, and that the woman was beating the living Hell out of them both.

One of the men swung a lead pipe at her but she easily snatched it out of his hands and threw him in the air where he landed on the hood of a car. The other man came at her with a knife and she threw him through a shed.

Both men were down for the count as they say, and the woman stood grandly as the winner. Even from a distance I could tell that the woman had been holding back considerably during the fight. With that strength, she could have easily killed them, but she let them off with minor wounds instead. I was a little disappointed that she hadn't done more damage, but I was still astounded.

I applauded the strong woman.

"That was absolutely tremendous!" I exclaimed.

The woman looked up at me confused. She hadn't noticed I had been standing there the whole time.

"You are amazing! Isn't she?"

The women next to me nodded their heads stupidly. I became immediately annoyed by their presence and dismissed them. The women walked away leaving me and the woman alone on the street. Well not entirely alone. At her feet laid a man that was severely beaten up. He let out a low groan and the woman reached down to him.

"Leave him, he's fine." I told her.

"He's fine." She agreed.

"Here I am, debating where to eat, and bam! Here you are, performing feats of heroism!" My voice was loud and high, like it always gets when I'm feeling extra giddy, and I was in an exceptional mood at that moment.

"Come closer, I want to get a good look at you."

The woman walked over obediently, and stopped when she was within touching distance of me. I glanced up and down her body and found it pleasing.

"Jesus, you are a vision! Hair and skin..."

I look at her outfit and it's less than pleasing. Just a black jacket and blue jeans.

"Your fashion is appalling, but that can be easily remedied, and underneath it, all the power, just like me!" I paused, then added, "Though not quite as good of course."

I straightened up, becoming a little more serious.

"Tell me did you like beating up those thugs?" I asked her.

"Yes." She replied.

"Why?"

"Because I helped someone. I made a difference."

That wasn't the response I was expecting. She sounded so naïve and innocent, like she was five-years old. I couldn't help but laugh in her face.

"Wow, how noble. Anyway, what's your name?"

"Jones. Jessica Jones."

"No, you're superhero name. You must have one."

"Just Jessica Jones."

No cool superhero code name? She had disappointed me again, but regardless she was still extremely intriguing. I knew then and there that I couldn't just let this woman, Jessica Jones, just walk away. You don't find a diamond lying amongst trash and keep walking, pretending like you haven't seen it. No, only a fool does something like that. A smart man snatches that diamond before anyone else gets a chance to see it.

"Alright Jessica Jones, there's a great Chinese restaurant around the corner. You love Chinese food. Come on."

I held out my hand and she took it. The same hand that I had seen her brutalize two men with felt small and soft.

"I have to know everything about you!"

The two of us ran up the street, both very excited, but me even more so.

A white light flashes and the dream ends there.

I wake up back in my apartment. Muscles sore, the side of my face stinging like a son of a bitch. I get out of bed and walk over to the mirror. I open my mouth and see that a tooth is hanging halfway out of place. It'll hurt more if I leave it so I grab it by my fingers, grip it tightly, and yank. The tooth comes out and my mouth feels with the copper taste of blood.

I'm not mad, instead I'm turned on. Jessica had me in her clutches, at least for a moment, and all she did was sock me one. It would have been easy for her to break my neck or cave my skull in, but she didn't. She was mad at me, but she didn't want me dead.

Jessica still loved me.

I rub the side of my cheek where she hit me. For just a moment we had been touching skin to skin. Yes, it was a punch, but still a touch is a touch. What's the real difference between a kiss and a slap anyway? At the end of the day they both send sensations through the skin that make our bodies react.

God, I wish Jessica was in the room with me. The things I would do to her. I can't help but chuckle at the thought.

I make a bold move and call Jessica. I had gotten her phone number ages ago, not hard at all. The hard part was being able to call her and resisting. Now that she knew about The Junkie there was no need to resist anymore.

Her cell rings once before she silently answers it.

"I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted." I say into the phone.

I'm sitting on the floor, my back against the bed, feeling extremely relaxed. I should take drug induced naps more often.

"So, rare...for me to feel powerless. Well, I would have felt it, had I been conscious. But in retrospect, it's exhilarating. My life was literally in your hands, and I have the bruise to prove it. Which proves that you want me alive. Tell me why."

I listen for a reply, but all I get is silence. I want to hear Jessica say she let me live because she loves me, but instead I'm getting the silent treatment.

"I could just turn up on your doorstep and make you tell me."

Jessica is a little daft, but she isn't completely thick. I know where she lives and she knows I know. Still no reply from Jessica. I sigh, annoyed. Why is she pissed at me? if anything I'm the one who should be mad at her. I think about it a second, and I soon realize the reason for her mood.

"Oh, you're mad about The Junkie, aren't you?" I say.

I take her silence as a yes.

"That is completely unfair! I didn't make him do anything he didn't want to do. He was…he was an addict waiting to happen."

More silence.

"Come on, Jessica." I groan. "Don't play the hero with me."

No reply.

"Fine, fine. Pretend you saved The Junkie, but we both know that was down to me. I'll tell you what, I will let him go down his own self-destructive path. I won't come near him. If…you do his job for him. Keep the pictures coming. Say, one a day at 10:00 a.m.? Don't forget to smile."

I pause and allow Jessica a chance to speak.

"Hmm? Send the picture, save The Junkie. Sounds like an ad campaign." I laugh. "Let's start…um, now!"

Dead silence.

"Come on, Jessica." I whisper. "Tell me we have a deal. Let me hear your voice…"

The phone disconnects.

I snort at Jessica's immaturity, and send her a text urging for the picture.

It isn't long before my phone beeps and I see what she sent me. In the picture, Jessica isn't smiling, but I'm fine with that because she's looking directly at me, not looking away like the photos The Junkie gave me. I'll have to settle for the pictures for now, in the meantime I'll have to get Jessica her gift. Once Jessica sees the proof of my feelings she'll stop this petty little game of hers and come back to me.

Just a matter of time.


End file.
